I used to think that forgiveness was for the person who was in the “wrong”.
That created a lot of anger and resentment in me because I didn’t want to let them off the hook, especially when there was no apology or remorse! In my case I tended to internalize the pain and essentially keep the wound open by reminding myself of the hurt over and over.
This wasted precious time, energy and pulled me down into a cycle of anxiety (fearing the next wound) and depression (ruminating on my wounds). But I didn’t know how to heal… until I learned true forgiveness.
When I learned that forgiveness is never really about the other person… it was a game-changer.
Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the wrong behavior, it’s not a “get out of jail free card”. Forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to forget the awful thing that happened. It’s only smart to remember so I can learn and if necessary protect myself in the future. Forgiveness means releasing myself from being “wounded” and being the “victim”.
It’s the beginning of the healing process. Forgiveness is about releasing myself from the attachment or bond with the pain. It’s about releasing myself from unnecessary suffering. Without forgiveness there can be no true healing.
Forgiveness is “Ok, this thing happened. Am I going to now use it to justify my own hurtful behavior towards myself and possibly others? Or do I move on with my life?” In my experience, I learned that I cannot move forward from that negative/traumatic event until I can forgive and release my blame, shame, guilt, judgment of myself (for letting it happen or whatever my perceived part in it was) and the other(s).
Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can ever give to yourself and the world. It frees you to live your best life instead of being stuck, controlled by a past event.
If you need help with learning to forgive, I have some amazing tools to share. I’m here for you because I’ve been through it and come out the other side! I know the depths of the pain. And I also know the incredible joy on the other side of the healing process.
Sending you so much love 💗
#forgiveness #forgiveyourself #forgive #selflove #selfcare #heal #healing
|Pure Essentials Light Center|